New Beginnings......

Well tomorrow I start my first job since I was 8 months pregnant which was almost 4 years ago. I am happy, excited, nervous and scared. What if I don't do as good of a job as someone who has not been away from the work place for so long?? What if I forget how some things are done??? What if something happens to Jayden and they get mad because I have to leave???? There are just so many questions running through my head and I always think the worst of things, actually the worst of myself. I really want to help contribute to our family and help lighten Jonathan's load. I want so badly for this job to work and I want so badly for them to like me, but what if they don't???? What if it takes me too long to catch on?????
I cant imagine not being around Jayden all day and loving on her, kissing on her, reading books, going for walks. How will I let go of that part of my life???? I have never been away from her like this. She starts first grade in 2 years and I wanted to savor these next two years as much as I can and spend as much time with her as possible and now I won't have all the time I thought I would have. Okay, now I am really started to scare myself and make myself VERY nervous so I am going to go to bed and hope for the best. I work tomorrow from 9-4. If you read this blog before or during those times, please pray for me. Please pray that God will give me a calm spirit and help me to not think about Jayden and everything I am possibly missing and that someone else is getting to see with her. Help bring to remembrance all the things I need for this job. Pray that his hand is over me as I embark on this new part of my life because I have so many emotions running through me right now its almost more than my heart can handle.